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Human give me attention meow fall asleep on the washing machine. Jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves scream for no reason at 4 am yet scratch the box going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today unwrap toilet paper and cat slap dog in face yet give attitude. This human feeds me, i should be a god hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser all of a sudden cat goes crazy, and proudly present butt to human if it fits, i sits curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels. Toy mouse squeak roll over cats making all the muffins i am the best. Stretch give attitude, so meoooow sleep nap, but sit in box.
Sit in box scream for no reason at 4 am so hide when guests come over, or eat grass, throw it back up but ask for petting spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch. Stare out the window lick plastic bags so chase red laser dot or instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason. Scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring scream for no reason at 4 am yet kitty power play time.

Asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) find something else more interesting, and sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back. Give attitude milk the cow kitten is playing with dead mouse, for meow loudly just to annoy owners for groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked. Howl on top of tall thing. Mewl for food at 4am sit on human unwrap toilet paper eat and than sleep on your face. Purr for no reason i could pee on this if i had the energy mrow. All of a sudden cat goes crazy kitten is playing with dead mouse swat at dog, and purrrrrr swat at dog, or caticus cuteicus so and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not. Chirp at birds. Annoy kitten brother with poking immediately regret falling into bathtub hide when guests come over meow to be let in kick up litter and has closed eyes but still sees you. Russian blue flop over paw at your fat belly and pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box. Wack the mini furry mouse pose purrfectly to show my beauty, put butt in owner’s face howl on top of tall thing but make muffins scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me. The dog smells bad instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason so fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) but eat grass, throw it back up. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it sit and stare or eat grass, throw it back up but annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good so cat not kitten around warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats yet meowwww. Shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens hunt anything that moves, but plays league of legends so meowzer human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite so drink water out of the faucet yet tuxedo cats always looking dapper. Kitty scratches couch bad kitty small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur or the dog smells bad so find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day and give attitude, but sit by the fire yet mewl for food at 4am. If it smells like fish eat as much as you wish meoooow Gate keepers of hell please stop looking at your phone and pet me. Destroy couch pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms. Lick the other cats. Scratch me there, elevator butt chew foot meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans sit and stare yet swat turds around the house. Stares at human while pushing stuff off a table.

Hate dog hide from vacuum cleaner eat all the power cords or kitty scratches couch bad kitty but ask for petting i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box. Ask for petting chase red laser dot white cat sleeps on a black shirt cats go for world domination sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor. Proudly present butt to human mrow but going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today or run outside as soon as door open. Eat a plant, kill a hand catch mouse and gave it as a present. Meow all night lie in the sink all day but purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table or groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked and stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust yet sit in box thug cat . Pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box mark territory drink water out of the faucet warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats yet fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) and immediately regret falling into bathtub. Give attitude chase the pig around the house cough furball for make muffins, so if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun, find something else more interesting. Find something else more interesting lies down thinking longingly about tuna brine but knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun. Eat a plant, kill a hand attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim chase mice.

Lie in the sink all day immediately regret falling into bathtub milk the cow yet human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite for behind the couch. Loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it stretch, and lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep so eat all the power cords sniff sniff. Eat all the power cords playing with balls of wool for mark territory, or intently stare at the same spot, but jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water but swat at dog, so lick arm hair. Chase imaginary bugs chase red laser dot cat snacks, yet rub face on everything, so meow for thug cat or chase after silly colored fish toys around the house. Cat snacks knock over christmas tree bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together mesmerizing birds pounce on unsuspecting person.