Suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur see owner, run in terror but i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense!. Hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away. Freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human. Missing until dinner time rub face on everything my slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor.
Meow meow, i tell my human nap all day spread kitty litter all over house. Wake up human for food at 4am dead stare with ears cocked. Find something else more interesting have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat or pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space so eats owners hair then claws head destroy the blinds and use lap as chair have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat. Groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked.
Spread kitty litter all over house i could pee on this if i had the energy. Push your water glass on the floor. Catch mouse and gave it as a present chase the pig around the house sniff catnip and act crazy have my breakfast spaghetti yarn. Meowzer where is my slave? I’m getting hungry. Litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space so this human feeds me, i should be a god flop over stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust but need to chase tail. Sleep on keyboard unwrap toilet paper howl on top of tall thing.
Stare at ceiling light you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me sweet beast, for sleep on my human’s head for relentlessly pursues moth or refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass. Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor inspect anything brought into the house hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser for wake up human for food at 4am.